And so you wanted to think it was yours,
You wanted to feel it belonged to you.
Thus one night, when the sky was looking away
You crept into his mind
Stabbed his thoughts and scooped
The blood in a grail.
You plunged into his bones
Sucked the marrow, drew life.
You smiled, spite dancing in your eyes
As his soulless body crept to your feet. Begged you.
You walked away
Leaving your malice to slice through him.


Their applause rang in your ears
As you played his soul
On a six-stringed instrument.
You didn't see him there
For you were too busy signing autographs
And planting kisses on their cigarette burnt lips.
You didn't feel him there.


Now you are a few light years old
Broken and bent like a willow.
And their lips and applauds have forgotten you.
You sit on a moth-eaten rocking chair
With his ghost.
Waiting for darkness to swallow you,
For death to release your pain.
You try to shut out his voice
You try to blind yourself to his eyes
You want to think it is yours,
Feel it belongs to you.


But you know it doesn't
You know who you are.
A cheat, a thief, a murderer.
You know who you are.
And just as oblivion consumes you,
It dawns upon you.
You know who you are - a fake.
You know you are human.

And then the meaning of happiness changes.

The radio doesn't sound quite that nice,

Tram rides dont excite so much.

A bottle of beer seems more alluring

Than candy floss.

A dance floor at a night club,

Seems a better a plance to be in than

The vastness of an empty playground.

Amusement parks don't amuse all that much.

And joy rides arent very joyful.

The price tag on a gift begins to matter

And it becomes embarrassing to

Have mothers kiss you on the forehead.

Friend change acording to the job profile,

Loved ones become the bothering ones.

Life takes a sharp turn,

Plunges into whole new definitions.

...And then suddenly

The very meaning of happiness changes.

Changes, as you grow up.

To the lights that blazed on streets,

The fire that sounded in their heads.

To the love that was there,

And the one that pretended to be there.

To Eagles, Dylan and Straits,

Eliot, Dickens and the rest.

To my nation and the tricoloured flag

Feeling proud despite what isn't there.

To a room that became the world

And words that lashed out like swords.

To belief and loosing faith

Life, death and all that jazz.

To laughter that echoes in our ears

And eyes that made you touch the sky.

To revoulutions and their revolutionaries

The ones who brought hope to a million hearts.

To that one song that took your breath away,

And those few words that left you spellbounded for the rest of the day.

To utter chaos and board examinations

And overrated and overpriced education systems.

To winning and losing,

Past, present and the future.

To falling in love and getting heartboken.

To falling in love all over again,

Attaining new heights of impossibilities.

To making sense out of the senseless

And love out of nothing at all..

To methods of madness and potato heads,

To pot bellies and long legs!!

To Ma and Pa,

For pocket money and the rest.

To dreams and illusions.

To joy and happiness.

To ecstacy and bliss.

To disiilusionment and sorrow.

To grief and bitterness.

To the explainanble and undecipherable.

_________________________________________________

To lovers, haters and the indifferent

A very Happy New Year.

I sit here in front of the computer and wonder how to begin and where to, for that matter; and there is much to say. But I shall begin, anyhow.
It is 26.11.2009, a year since the Mumbai blasts. And for some strange reason I see no signs of any emotion in this city that apparently has a soul. True, a peace walk has been organized from the Citezen's Park to Victoria Memorial covering a distance of just about half a mile, but is that enough compensation for lives lost. Belonging to a school which has a firm belief in the existence of God, made no mention about Him resting the souls of the men who lost their lives and the ones who sacrificed. Belonging to a family where the father has been serving in the Indian Army for more than two decades, no mention was made of the officers and jawans who laid down their live this day not less than a year ago.
How many of us remeber the names of the defence officers who were shot on this day. How many of us remember that it was because of a defective bullet proof vest that a woman lost her husband and a child, his father. How many of us remember just the number of people who were shot down by terrorists exactly a year back.
There is much that I have to say but at this moment I have a lump in my throat. So this where I stop.
Kolkata, is perhaps no more what it used to be. Perhaps, it is no more the city of joy. ___________________________________________________
Someone had once told me that I make a very bad writer when I am angry. I make a bad writer anyway, I realize. But today, I feel an emotion that I havent felt in a long time. Today, I feel ashamed. For the first time ever, I feel ashamed of belonging to a city which perhaps somewhere, is losing its heart. I feel ashamed that the city which made me fall in love with the very existence of mankind is making me question my love for it.

The sweet smell of wet earth,
Bent trees
Drops of water on leaves.
Wet and cold,
Mushy,
Snug.
Her disarrayed hair
His warm skin.
Tangled locks
Slippery sandals
Dark skies,
Dark eyes as the skies above.
Smell,
Of his skin.
Puddles of muddy water
Ripples and a paperboat
Driftwood.
Walking down narrow lanes
The hem of her skirt
The whiteness of her legs
The smell in his neck
Nose rubbing nose
Eyelids touching eyelids
Light brush of lips,
And melting down.
So drowsy,
Long fingers clasped around
Pudgy ones.
So very drowsy.........

Am really sorry that I am fifteen-n-a half hours late...


But....



HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

For the almost-non-existant blog.
I have forgotten how to play with words therefore i shall just rave and rant.

First reason for anger:
The sudden awakning of the authorities to the pollution in Calcutta and the removal of all public vehicles which have been on the road before 1993.
Dude, agreed that the the pollution level in Cal is very bad and something ought to be done about it. But that definitely doesnt mean that you sack so many people snatch their living away!! This could have been done in phases bringing in replacements slowly, पर नही, अगर हमारे पास इतना दिमाग होता तो आज ये दिन देखना पड़ता!! There are an uncountable number of people who've lost there jobs and and an even more uncountable number of people who will stop getting two square meals a day.

Second reason for anger:
Thereis a bandh (again)in Cal. Or rather something that you can't exactly call a bandh but something on those lines.Subhas Chakroborty passed away yesterday(if you dont know who he is then please get lost-i am in no mood to give explanations.)
Thus the transport system, rather whatever is left of the transport system, of the city has said that "today we shall not drive, today we shall remain at home watch tv, see our kids go hungry for a day and when night falls, have unprotected sex with our wives."
I mean seriously, something's got to give. How is the comman man suppose to survive. How are people suppose to go to their work places and schoools and wherever else they have to go to earn their bread and butter???!!!!

I wish I could punch something right now.
Damnnn!!!!

So what if I am not pretty,
So what if I am not hot.
So what if I can't make feel sexy,
So what if I don't give you the come on.
So what if I am not liked so much by your lot,
So what if I am not as that smart.

You should have heard me singing Joan Baez,
The light in my eyes would have blinded out yours.

BEGINNING-II

Starting a new life..sounds easy,doesn't it?
Almost as easy as changing school bags.Just take out the books and put them inside the new bag and you are done.

OHO! Don't forget to check the side pockets because ultimately all the important stuff are left in there---like that extra pen,almost torn notepad,one or two crumpled Rs.10 note and similar apparently unimportant stuff which later becomes the most important.

This starting-a-new-life thing is just the same.We take care of only those things which come across as the main thing---the reason of starting new life. But the side pockets of the previous life go unnoticed. And that is exactly where things go wrong. The side pockets nowever unimportant they might seem should always be checked or else ou'll be left with voids rather empty pockets in your life.

Beginnings -I

BREAKING NEWS

Since nobody apart from three people, namely THIS, THAT and OTHER, follow this blog, i am going to extremely impolite, not-so-decent and outrageously obvious.
Keeping in mind that they had already grown their wings, though they were people who tried to clip them from time to time, they just kept growing back (damn!!), it is now time for them to fly. Fly and reach out not to the stars or the moon but, to their dreams.

This is it. This is the new beginning.

And on behalf of THIS and THAT, I, THIS congratulate all of you out in that world that people say is 'big and bad', because now you will be joined by two people who will do things that have never been done before. Two other people , just two other people, making their place in the world, in their very own way!!!

Let her be,
She hasn't hurt you.
Don't kill her.
Don't trample her beneath your feet.
Don't turn her to ashes between your finger.

All she does,
Is to come down with silent vengence.
Falling on noses, resting on eyelashes.
As soft as your lover's skin
a life of pristine beauty.

Let her live,she'll give you joy.
Let her breathe.
For those few minutes,
She just wants to live.
Oh please! Please let the snowflake live.

She

She,
She is the reason of the sun's morning glow,
the falling of leaves during a cosy autumn.
She is the reason of laughter on a few faces,
so many hearts' ecstacy and delight.
She is the reason of the sweet smell of dew on grass,
the riot of colors everywhere.

She.
She is the reason to survive.

She,
She is the splash of thoughts dipped in ink, on bits of paper,
the overflow of love now and then.
She is the apprehensive confession of a lover,
the ache in his heart for a mere glimpse.
She is the innocence of a new born infant,
the still silence of the mountains.

She.
She is the horizon and beyond that.

She,
She maybe dust or rain,
love or hate.
Maybe freedom or captivity,
a dream or a nightmare.
Maybe hope, or the lessness of it.,
life, or perhaps even death.

she....


__________________________________________________
to my better-half!! :)

I

I am the disappointment in your child's eyes,

the longing in her heart to be loved and to love.

I am the tear that rolled down the roadside beggar's eye,

the shiver that ran down his spine on a cold winter night.

I am the silence that follows after the quarrel,

the breach of trust that brought the marraige to its demise.

I am the demon dancing in your head waiting to mislead you,

the love that pretends to be there.

I am the sound of the crow cawing away, when you try to sleep

the groan of the dying lion.

I am this, I am that,

everything that is a tad bit sad.

I am the mark that scarred you for life,

the desire for anything that is wrong and bad.

:)

It is on its way.....
:)

All I ask for.....

All I ask for,
Is a green meadow
With guinea pigs and ducklings,
And a few sheep ambling around here and there.
A nice little mansion
With a fountain in the courtyard
And a vegetable patch behind it.
Some beautiful gowns
With sashes around them
And a carraige pulled by unicorns
With my lover beside me.

Oh! Is that asking for too much....?

All I ask for,
Is pleasant weather all around the year
And a bout of rain now and then.
Wings to fly to the moon and back
Without much traffic on the way,
A bed with muslin sheets to lie down on
Whenever I please!
A cellphone with a lifetime validity
And unlimited charge and balance
And absolute freedom to do just as i wish.

Really! Is that asking for bit too much...?

All I ask for,
Is a single free icket to every concert in the town
And a visit to Someplace Else thrice a week,
And sing anywhere and everywhere.
Gift vouchers from 'Crosswords', for books to buy
And permission to sit there and read throughout the day.
One visit to shillong to watch the 'Scorpions' perform live
And coffee with Amy Lee from Evanescance at her place.

Tell me, Would you still say I am asking for a bit too much...?
:O

And They Say......

I see myself reaching for the highest branch
On that hundred year old tree,
And perching myself up there
To look at the world beneath
But they say, "Irrational are such dreams."

I see that wave hitting the huge rock
And falling back.
It keeps coming back, trying again
That perhaps someday it'll make it to the shore
But they say, "Hopeless are such hopes."

I see the nightingale sailing
Through the wide azure,
Singing a song that could
Bring the dead alive.
But they say, "Improper is such music."

I search for a life in his eyes
Even as I yearn for it to end.
Time files by, stealing with it
For what i crave.
But they say, "Worthless is such a life."
___________________________________________________
Consequences of a very depressing day.... :P

Neverland

Come away with me,
Away to a distant land,
Where the heavens are for the mortal
And the immortal are the deceased.


A land where the moon gleams just for you,
And smiles with you when you are at the top of the world.
Where the wind speaks to you in soft whispers,
And lets you know that you shall never be alone.
Where the fragrance of fresh dew on the grass
Reminds you of a certain someone,
And the caress of the morning breeze feels like his fingers.
A land, where logic is illogical, reasons unreasonable,
And imagination is such, that every man seems human.
Where music is not bound by words and a mere rhythm,
And imperfection is perfect to perfection.
Where love isn’t captivated by the laws of age and religion,
And hatred is an unknown word.


Come away with me,
Away to a distant land,
Where the heavens are for the mortal
And the immortal are the deceased.

To Life....

Yet another day dawns,

when I breathe.

Yet another morning to awake

and look ahead.

Yet another day to live

and celebrate.

Few more smiles to smile,

few more tears to shed.

Few more secrets to share,

and few more syllables to utter.

My life gifts me yet another day

to stare at the same moon,

to think about the same loved one,
to feel a mother's embrace,

to make love.

Another day to see the clouds drift pass,

to hear the pitter patter of rain on the window sill.

Life, to whom i have been

unjust, unfair.

Life, who I scarred and marred.

Life to whom I gave nothng,

to whom I returned nothing,

gave me yet another day

to feel bliss

to feel ecstacy

to imagine

to dream.

And again, another day dawns when i breathe....